Internal Activation

Some people tend to have “lion” energy when they’re activated. The chaotic energy of activation isn’t only swirling inside of them, it’s swirling around them, and the people around them can feel it. When they become dysregulated, they might appear angry, raise their voice, storm off, or throw or hit something.

Others have what I refer to as “duck” energy when they’re activated. When you watch a duck swimming on a pond, it looks like they are serenely gliding on the water. But underneath, their feet are churning to push them forward. We don’t see evidence of all that underlying energy.

People with “duck” energy have learned how to appear regulated on the outside, even when that chaotic energy is swirling on the inside. While this is much less disruptive to those around them, the stress hormones still impact their wellbeing, and they may be more prone to move in and out of a shutdown stress response.

It’s common for kids to do this at school. Obvious dysregulation tends to result in negative consequences, so if they’re able, they learn to contain that chaotic energy. Unfortunately, adults are often unaware that these kids are struggling. These students may receive glowing reviews about their behavior at school, and then at home, they may have meltdowns or seemed drained. It’s exhausting keeping all that activated energy pent up all day!

Adults also do this, at home, work, or in social situations. Yelling at the boss or throwing a pen across the room during a meeting would almost certainly result in negative consequences. So, we learn to neutralize our facial expressions, stifle what we’d really like to say, and keep our emotions tucked deep inside us.

From a young age, we learn what sort of behavior is expected of us. We often receive messages that certain emotions aren’t okay to feel, or express. We may also learn to put other people’s feelings first, or to keep our feelings inside to avoid making someone else feel uncomfortable.

Internalizing stress may help us avoid social problems or awkwardness at times, but it takes a toll on our wellbeing. Stress hormones are meant to support short-term responses for protection, not to be an ongoing fuel to our daily life. Have you learned to adapt to an activated system by projecting regulation on the outside, but often feel an internal swirl of activating energy? This energy needs to release somehow, eventually, or it will continue to impact the health of your body, mind, and relationships.

It’s worth noting that social media often triggers quiet activation. We become overstimulated, inundated with bad news from around the world, and compare ourselves to the “ideal selves” being presented online. Reducing your time on socials is a great way to support your nervous system. Even better - replace some of that time with movement, which can release stuck energy. Shake out your arms and legs, imagining that energy flowing out of your fingers or toes. Put on an upbeat song and dance! Even better - sing along. Yes, this is a science-based recommendation! Singing loudly helps to stimulate the vagus nerve, which plays a powerful role in your stress/safety responses.

Studies also suggest that, when we feel intense emotions, simply naming them helps soothe the activating energy and negative feelings that accompany them. Feeling angry? Just saying it out loud can immediately start to settle the nervous system.

Ice can also help you to calm your nervous system. Drink ice water through a straw, splash cold water on your face, hold ice in your hands, or put an ice pack on the back of your neck or forehead.

In addition to continuing your SSP listening, pay attention to what activating energy feels like in your body. Where do you tend to feel it? Can you describe the sensation? How can you release that energy so it doesn’t get stuck in your body?